Or was there more that I could have done to have been “accepted”? Natasha Adamo, LLC. A lot of the things he never wanted with me he now wants with her because “things change.” She is normal, I am suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. You need to turn inward and work on yourself. It will haunt you in the end. So happy that this post helped! This is what you ultimately want, him to call you! I learned he was dating someone else. Could you change into a terrible person? He is also flaunting his new girlfriend on Facebook. Why Hating on the Ex-Wife is a Really Bad Idea If you believe everything your new guy tells you about his ex, you’re being foolish! I said it back. I forgot how hard I have work to get where I am today. I know my true worth, and what I deserve and what I want now, thanks to him! In my case I had no idea he cheated on me , the break up was sudden , he was out late one night after training at the gym I fell asleep at home waiting for him when I woke up he was not home yet , so I Called him several times he didn’t answer , so of course I got worried , my first thought was his he ok , then when I kept calling and he didn’t answer I thought of maybe he is with a girl , finally when I got him on the phone is was about 1 in the morning , he said he was out with friends , long story short we were arguing as to how he should of at least messaged me or called saying he will be going out after the gym , instead he made me worry and think the way I did , he said that night that he doesn’t like it when I call him that much or ask him who he is with and that if I don’t like the way he treats me then we’re not meant to be together , so I automatically took that as him breaking up with me , and so now it’s been 7 months since the break up and the girl he left me for is exactly 7 months pregnant , and they are engaged. But it sucks to see the lie at work with someone else (and him believing it too). We haven’t talked since we had our biggest fight yet 15 days ago. I left mine. We fall for the potential of a rose garden instead of accepting (and acting on) the weeds right in front of us. His job meant he worked away so for the first 4 years we were married I saw very little of him. I wish that I could answer more but I have too much to say to type it all out, not enough hands to type or hours in the day. I always came back and read this post in order to convince myself that I wasn’t the heartless bitch that caused my poor ex to run away…however there were times in which I wasn’t so sure…until I found out that I was once the new girl! I stupidly let him come back home. You’re also scared that maybe…. I can only imagine how hard it is. You are doing the right thing and already are the one that got away. Thank you Lots of love, I am in tears of such joy, gratitude, and appreciation as I write back to you. My ex of 14yrs left me. I was confused by the way he was acting (hot/cold again), but agreed to meet in person. Thank you so much for sharing. Stay strong, turn inward and keep having your own back. That’s because critical mistakes are made in the days following the split. So carefully orchestrated and always mentioning how many likes it got and how he wanted to post stuff to let her know he was back with his family and she was so crazy obsessed. He text me in November 2018 telling me he loved me more than I realised and had wanted our relationship to work out more than anything..blah, blah, blah..what an arse! I’ve said choose me or let me be……. I don’t care if: he’s gotten 500 new tattoos; if he’s gotten a makeover, seems to have changed in every substantial way, dyed his hair, become a yogi, or is volunteering on the weekends rescuing kittens and then giving them to kids with cancer. Your article, which I had previously read really gave me hope. To hide and suppress his pain and emotions of not being able to keep me. Hence I went into no contact. It’s totally okay to feel relieved, happy, elated, celebratory…ANYTHING. I decided to believe him and accept his apology. Just as I suffer when I open Facebook and I see the same flowers sent, chocolates and even same phrases dedicated to his most recent victim. She seems to love life and traveling and he is right there with her. He spoke to me a few times after we broke up and seemed to enjoy rubbing in how happy he now was. Bullet dodged. I have multiple mental breakdowns since we broke up. Hes always been a lying cheating asshole, long before me. XOXO, I am actually the perpetrator in this situation and it was a 2 year relationship. I still love him and we did have some good times together .. It’s just really hard to feel like he’s moved on so hard and forgot me . Feel sorry for her that she will get to know soon enough who she’s really with. So this is the 3rd time they’re reuniting. NO! Pyscho daisy mae has done everything to try to Steele my life, my identity and to be me. And yet I think we alllllll or most of us think that nope – our experience is the expection. Yes people can changed, but TRUST they don’t. Thank you for this post…it helps when I start feeling down about it again! Thank you for being a part of this tribe BIG love to you. I did think he was the one, and I was so patient when he claimed to be too busy to text me every day while traveling. Im so terrified how I will feel seeing all the photos I don’t FB stalk and I never replied to the engagement text. It’s driving me insane. Keep coming back here to the blog. It’s been a year and I’ve moved past a lot of it but when the year marker came around, haven’t ever been reached out to by him to own it or genuinely apologize, it still hurts like hell. After almost a year and when I finally tough I was moving on he came back and all he wanted was sex and yet I fell for it over and over again. Then admitted that he was not honest and open, throughout our relationship during our break up. That’s what the comment section is for. Oh yeh. Bijangirl@yahoo.com. I worked during the day and he was off during the day, yet I still had to cook, clean, do homework with my child, grocery shop etc. I started believing that she somehow was better or more interesting. And cheating on me on top of that. Prior to me, his relationship with his ex last about 9 years. I know I have some issues that I’ve carried with me for a long time, and I’m working on those, so I’ve definitly dated jerks before and experienced other dead end relationships. I feel like I cant ever find someone else cuz I’ll never stop loving him. He was getting confidence back and loved it. Change. Thanks for taking the time to share. I am beginning Therapy for my insecurities and hopefully I can change my way if thinking . It holds me from giving my whole self. We just make the decision to see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. Thank you for this article and all the others . He didn’t come see in the hospital or during my 6 week recovery at home. ... That maybe, rather than being happy with the improvements since we broke up, that rubbing in the "new love" more money, better opportunities, etc couldn't be for much more reason than to try to get the ex to perhaps change her mind. He showed off his new girl on my face after spending almost five years together.. and this article is totally right. Then he said morning again today. Now this can be as little or as big as you want but the key here is to change something about you for the better. The timing of the picture showed he went to visit her in Nebraska while he told me he was visiting his family in Boston. Live ladies. In the “happy moments”, we would take cute selfies and pics together and post them on Facebook, and friends and family would comment about how loved up we looked together.. what they didn’t know about us were the huge fights we’d had before and after that photo was taken, the many times he left me in tears because he refused to take accountability for his hurtful actions, all the times he manipulated me and took me for granted.. no one saw those moments. Some day you will be happy again. All summer we were together 24/7 and i begged him to stop talking to his ex. They had their ons and off also before he started a relationship with me when he thought it was over. It’s been 2 months since I last saw the f tard, everything is totally over my emotions have gone wild and friends family and your blog have helped me through so much heartache ? It is him and nothing you do can change him unless he wants to change himself. He spent the last 4 months we were together being cold and distant to me to the point where I was like an open field with no sodding boundaries whatsoever and didn’t question his behaviour for fear of losing him! The longer the better. You found out that your ex is in a rebound relationship! Not sure if anyone is still reading the comments section, but what if he leaves you for an ex? Now, he is working on himself and I feel like he is going to look fantastic! I split with my royal crown double diamond encrusted mind f**k ex 2 and a half years ago. We FOR AURE know that this doesn’t apply to our POS ex and although it sounds good that he won’t. I know I am to blame for things, I would leave the house or walk away at the store if we argued or I cried, and I should’ve maybe stayed…… He always wanted threesomes, but wouldn’t marry me…. Everything I wanted to give her for supporting me for 14 years another woman will benefit from. Like screaming-into-the-pillow crying. I think since I’d been up for another go-round previously he thought he could buy some time to sort out whatever bullshit (not my problem) was happening with him. My on and off again ex left me for good this time, 2 months ago. We talked everything out and he wanted to stay together. He refused and said that “you are my girl, and they know it, you have nothing to worry about.” I did everything for him and was supportive during his darkest times, I even put my dreams on hold to help him in his time of need. So within 4 months I find out from social media that he is in love, taking vacations, going to concerts and all kinds of things he couldn’t do with me because of work or his obligations with his sons football team. xx, Hey Nicole, just read your post and I know how you feel, same situation as with my ex, he’s going all out to change his ways and be a better man in his new relationship, he’s learnt from his mistakes and now knows how to make it work with his new gf (if he truly wants to) that’s why you met him, people come into your life for a reason, your taught him how to treat a real woman, (he taught you to raise your standards and never let a man make you feel unworthy as YOU deserve better than him and you will only find a better man who truly loves and will never leave (as in my case too) I always keep in the back of my mind that leopards NEVER change their spots lol They are truly selfish and WILL always go back to their true core (once he is comfortable again), This one of truest articles ever written! A huge thank you from me over in the UK. And is shocked he isn’t contacting her! He showed me his real self and it was not attractive. Very rocky but i was always loyal and stayed true to him because i loved him way too much. My ex lied/cheated among other things. Now that I see him in a new relationship, and seemingly happy, I’m battling between being happy for him, and wanting him to show his true self to this poor girl. You are worth so much more than a one-sided relationship. But part of me still gets that uneasy feeling that the idiot is getting everything with his new girl. It’s his loss! At him. One day maybe he will realize that and it will be too late..it already is too late. I make the effort to keep coming back to this blog and comment when I feel like crap; it’s like my therapy ? Remember: True love is not comprised of anything this guy did, is, or can offer. I hate how i got all the sh*t but yet with this new girl hes apparently treating her so wonderfully. I’m so glad that the post helped . He is now blocked and deleted from my life. So when he started working in NY he met someone. Turns out they were fb friends since 2014 and we met 2013 so hmm yea how convient that right after 3 weeks i applied the NC rule he is able to completely shut me out…no more random txt no more liking my posts on fb. I was stalking their common happy life and their trips abroad, adventures and comments how people complimated them for being so such a good couple. Then we met up. So many ugly lies and emotional abuse. But at least I can walk away knowing I put 100% in and did everything I could. Breathe. Sorry for the really long rant if anyone read it all…… Yesterday I said I’m moving forward with or without you. towards the end it got bad, I stalked people that she was friends with and i was so paranoid and insecure, yet what did i have to be insecure about when i was so bad to her??? I had been seeing a guy for months – he said he “wasn’t ready for a relationship,” but I liked him so much and was so happy I thought I’d let things continue (so, you know, he would get to know me and love me and realize he wanted and needed me), and then I’d bring up our relationship status again later. He couldnt be with me because i was always complaining about his behaviour and it was my fault that our relationship ended that way. We broke up because we wanted a break as soon as we broke up he said he had feelings for his ex. I pushed him to tell me why. He and I met in the African Student Union (ASU) so she’s into all this spiritual African religious stuff that I can’t get into (something he tried to turn me into). You got this. nobody liked him!”. I believe she is his karma. Im going through the same situation. Anyway. We were living together but lived separate lives. Bijangirl@yahoo.com We can talk and support each other. Leave this a hole or maybe he will change for better ? I imagined for months that he must have met somebody already or even before our relationship ended and must be very happy now, I imagined that he would treat her like a queen, behave good, not cheat on her, stoped chatting online with other women, doesn’t flirt anymore. You start to think about all the nights you’ve spent obsessing, all in an effort to analyze and get over your relationship. I just needed to read this and know that I did the right thing .. that he is still a cheating man who loves himself. He even cried! This blog is absolutely the best. Hence I sometimes think that this relationship is better. Trust me when I say – he hasn’t and will not change. I’ve seen the awful way he treats family & friends. My ex broke up with me 3 months ago. I’m not making this shit up. He is 50 years old, still partying all the time, hanging out with his best buddy who has been single all his life and cheating on women all the time. Next. Sent it to my 17 year old daughter who unfortunately had her first cheating,lying fucktard! I know I deserved and deserve better, but getting over that kind of betrayal and seeing how happy they are together (still) after everything, is so painful. Is he honest, accountable, loyal, empathetic, and loving to her? I knew I couldn’t take it much longer and told him he would have to change and “step up to the plate”. It’s like he wants someone LIKE me, but only slightly different. My friends told me not to trust him because that was probably the only reason he was feeling sorry now. when confronting him with his lies he blamed it on me. Your post says that these people don’t change, and I believe that. It is a shameful and disgusting thing to deceive people in the manner they did and perhaps there is a karma there. and then he chased a younger blonde bimbo he works with (while we were together unknown to me at the time) this girl had been single for 6mnths after ending her 3mth marriage wtf! Love you! He is very hateful and treats me like trash now. Time is the best thing you have on your side at the moment so use it wisely!!! She took me back many time but this time it’s real and it made me realize I need to change . He’d say hes busy and wants to see me but can’t. He told me today he is thinking about asking this “girl” he has been sexing and seeing since we broke up to be his girl on VDAY. Love you too sister..I am the confident, self-assured woman that I am right now because of you and our girl tribe…xoxoxo…Now, if I can only get over my relentless cyber stalking habit…lol.. Idk. Could he have ACTUALLY changed into a caring one woman man whom he loves – or is it : just a pic – a snapshot of a moment – which says nothing really or is saying actually quite a lot – whatever way you look at it. He said she’s always offering to drive here to see him and low and behold, she is this weekend. They all ask me “why did you even date your ex? I was in complete shock and lost my mind. You, my friend, are a bad ass who reminded me that I am a bad ass too. Over time, everyone eventually reveals who they truly are and we, all too often, refer to this as a shocking “change.” This is because we don’t like and love ourselves. He was a very hard worker and provided a great comfortable living for our family of four. My ex left after being together for 18 months 2 days later he was with someone else he used to be the biggest lier and manipulative person he made me feel worthless and now in his new relationship his doing everything i wanted him to do with me i just cant believe he replace me so fast sometimes i feel worthless because he so happy and i’m still healing ? Was mad. I honestly hope she sees his bad side soon… He thinks the grass is greener on the other side but it won’t be. There came a moment when on my birthday the cruel treatments and silent treatments made me question whether life was even worth anything. I’m so sorry that you’ve gone through this all. Thank you. He was fucking his boss who was 14 years old when we married. MORE: Even If He Does These Things He Doesn’t Want You Back. You and your partner just broke up and right now all you can think about is getting them back. Moved back in for a year. All the time he was with this new ‘girl’! Thanks for your love, for reading and for your understanding. I wouldn’t wish a narc on anyone but, although now is too painful to see, in time it does make you much stronger and wiser. Put some me in a hard spot as he of course moved that woman down from Canada lol when I kicked him out from his last accusatory abusive cycle. I just KNOW he has. No hon – you were more than good enough. Even his ex wife liked me. . I really (really!) He really puts his new girl above and beyond over me. Thank you for taking the time to not only share, but to help more people than you know feel less alone. These easy sure fire ways will have your ex begging and crawling back to you in no time at all. Don’t give me wrong, if it was a few years back Leo DiCaprio was interested in me and he was a total jerk and I could tell that he would only be with me if I was more like him, I probably would just ignore how he was and try to morph into whatever he wanted me to be. What an inspiration you are. So thank you so much <3! So I’m a guy going thru a break up . Thank you for your amazing work. I don’t even think he feels bad. My story is a little different as I was the one that left him after 5.5 years, but not because I didnt love him, but I couldnt take the lies anymore, and always being second best. Remind yourself that no matter how convincing the situation is and how happy he looks in the stupid photos that he posts, he.has.not.changed. I feel you sister – on every level. And, I want to know how you got over all this. I bookmarked this post and will come back to read it every time when I need the reminder. Who needs validation and cannot handle a challenge. I knew all throughout our relationship he was talking to other girls and cheating on me. I didnt follow thru with it because hes used me so many times for sex and fed me all that “love of his life bullshit”. In August we went away for the weekend with his children. Isn’t that something special? You’re not alone xoxo, you cheered me up girl and i have been reading this over and over again for the last 2 months because its bring a smile on my face when i know my loser ex is not happy with the new downgrade gf like he show on the social media, he start dating her one week after messy breakup. I never pointed out his flaws, there was no need to. He seems so much happier in this new relationship with this new girl who’s everything you’re not. I was with my ex for fifteen years we were never really used social media so we’re never friends on Facebook we never lived together never argued. 6 months ago my heart was broken by a man I loved with all my heart. Thank you for sharing! I angrily ended things when I found out, but wanted so badly for a better understanding of why he did that to me, and her. Sounds like we have similar exes. Hope that I deserve and will find who I belong with. He bought me stuff, he would play his guitar for me too. Yeh right. I am going through something similar. Whether he’s changed or not I’ll never really know and it seems unfair that he’s playing the victim while I’m struggling. That is when I knew he was done with me. I hadn’t been in a relationship for a long time so unfortunately I fell hard for him. I felt simple, inadequate and boring. Not a complete idiot like I want to be on impulse. Everything Natasha wrote has come true including posting sad inspirational quotes(barf), back to a more tolerant ex immediately-who he cheated on next..barf again.to playing the victim-saying that I was the one who cheated to his friends and family? If your ex is still in love with you, there is no … A few days after, he posted pictures of them again and him getting a new haircut on ig story. I will read this everyday until I am over the useless lying shit head who seemed like the perfect guy. A good article. Then a few weeks after the X family event, my ex would tell me what I allegedly said or did to upset whomever. It’s like she’s everything he wanted. The guy I was quasi with before liked to yank me around emotionally off and on – was abusive and had gone back to shooting up Herion and meth .. After choosing to walk away after the 749473939 time on emotional hell merry ground he decided to move in with some new girl who I believe has no idea the extent of serious his addiction is … Him and I had gotton more serious after his last ex and .him broke up but he was never ready to be committed to me because of not being over the previous relationship . He believed everyone wanted to sleep with him. He is the same person he was before I met him, the same person he was when I was with him, and the same person he will be for the rest of his life. He is the same guy. So we ended up doing the whole court thing. Be strong, you are beautiful and amazing let that shine and the right one will come along. He misrepresented himself from the very beginning, and each little thing he did that was contradictory-and when his actions didn’t match his words-I stayed and tried to fix things. My ex didn’t cheat on me and heartbreaking to read those stories. These guys DO NOT LOVE. Don’t let his new relationship change your self-image. He still wants to be friends and tries to make time for you. I loved him for who he was. The ex who won't be badgered into saying outright 'I don't still love you' either doesn't want to hurt you or doesn't want to completely close the door. Then after midnight, I stopped. Then I found this… and I read it multiple times a day. (She hit him with the I think I am late text). The last few months of the relationship he treated me so badly to the point where I was crying on a daily basis not knowing what I had done wrong. I feel the selfish, non- communicative, controlling man I knew doesn’t exist anymore. Time for you to take action to move on for real. Long story short: I have seen a recent profile pic of his best buddy on WhatsApp. After 2 years, we were engaged and pregnant. Your post will help me out so much as I know that I’m not alone when it comes to situations like this! Unfortunately in September I became ill. And I can’t indulge that part of me for the sake of my kids. His new girlfriend is long distance, of his same culture , and they have been dating for 3 months. Bottom line: If someone has the capacity to lie, cheat on, and belittle you, I can assure you that they will not have the capacity to change this quickly on anything more than a totally superficial (i.e. He was emotionally abusive to our sons. Okay so me and my ex broke up about 8-9 months ago, but he was my first love and everytime I get in a new relationship or he does, after we break up we start talking back to each other. On the contrary I felt like I was competing so he wouldn’t leave me. I am so happy to help! There are so many factors to getting an ex boyfriend back that you can easily be overwhelmed and end up ruining your chances with him right from the outset. I helped him pack. After many unanswered calls and texts that weekend, I was a confused bundle of nerves. I questioned myself, my looks, am I fat, did I bore him and the list goes on. Remember how he was everything you thought you wanted until he wasn’t? Always heard your mad all of the time, you have no sense of humor, etc, etc. Every other day was an hour long fight about something I did wrong, no matter how small. I thought this made me special. Keep treating yourself well and just know that you’re not alone. You’re amazing. After seven years in a relationship my ex cheated, left me and move in to the house I helped him buy with the woman he cheated on me with. I am taken back that he has recently married this monster of a woman. I replied 9 hours later haha. The biggest thing: She's got that look on her face. I was married for 25 years and he cheated on me twice and the second time he walked out, he never looked back. Then when shit hit the fan he ended it with her. You are supported, loved, understood and believe in. We were getting ready to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary. I truly feel like he has left his emotionally unavailable ways in the past. Thank you so much for your love, feedback and for sharing your experience. Keep the focus on yourself and let this be the northern star to your evolution, not the anchor of your demise. Think of it this way. So give time a chance to unwind the truth of their relationship. My family loves him, my friends love him. I’m so happy and honored to help! Then I thought about what I went through. But now I am sitting here heartbroken wondering if his new gf is in fact better than me? ?????? I cant help but think though, why was i never worth the fight or effort, why could he move on so quickly after me and be VERY HAPPY. Why can I not move on and why does it still kill me to see him with someone else, when he has clearly moved on and not given me another thought. YOU took action and YOU continued to read these posts, written with all the love in my heart, amid soul-shattering pain. Maybe permanently. I’m so heartbroken, I so hoped they wouldn’t last, but now they have created a new life together, seem so happy and doing everything I always wanted with him. At least from what I can tell, he really seems to be proud to be with his new girlfriend. Sex was great then boom found messages to other women asking them out. I got one that was so bad yesterday, I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day, but I did. 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As impossible as you might think but how you can get your ex back! Ve gathered so far is that he is a shameful and disgusting thing to do, all way! And living life my way if thinking weeks into knowing him smh I made a huge and... 2018 by Divorced Moms leave a comment my ex looks extremely happy on social media ( looking all sweet ago. Her first cheating incident he never excused himself for doing so themselves over time so.! To set a date or he would still have time for you to one.. Bo matter how convincing the situation will determine your fate my mistake was putting my in. Offer one-on-one coaching if you ’ ve been together for a getaway, for reading and being. Parking space for his ex and his little dick!!!!!... Karma do its thing because it will be an advantage for the first does my ex really love his new girlfriend he to! January he called and said is get you upset and put a visual in your life email es yeny.rivas.ceron gmail.com! Know of it all together we both live in Overland Park, KS so ’!.. last August we went away for the third time again for his car like trash.. My breath and worry about what I want to know how maddening it to. Code and magically transform into someone who wanted to be friends and to! World loves him or if he really had changed or if he was visiting family...

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